january 2024
not sure if my heightened productivity this month (and i use 'productivity' to mean doing things i want to do, not in the more capitalistic meaning. not sure exactly how i feel about the necessity to be Productive above the minimum. here i leave space for future reflection) comes from the fact that the beggining of a new year is usually a time where everyone goes kind of "i'll get my shit together. This year it'll work.", or if it comes from the fact that i'm eating healthier, or if it comes from the fact that i'm used to the post-university pre-job life, or if it comes from the fact that it's summer and i always feel more productive in summers, or if it comes from the fact that i finally learned how to wake up early in a way that works for me, or if it comes from the fact that i started regularly exercising again. it's probably a combination of all that.
i didn't interact socially a lot, but i think i've gotten used to not leaving the house and seeing my friends every single day, like i used to do in uni. and the few social events i've attended were good!
- started to swim again
- i'm having a lot of fun with swimming, maybe even more than when i took swimming lessons in the past. the classes i'm taking now feel much different, which probably makes a big difference
- i like how it's a practicaly antisocial physical activity and how it's impossible for you to think about anything else while you swim. at least that's how it works for me. smooth brain, more hydrodynamic
- finished the freelance gig i was working on
- now i'm fully unemployed. someone please hire me
- started to learn how to play the guitar
- i did what any person my age would do and searched reddit for some reccomendation of resources to learn and i've taken a liking to justin guitar. he's very sweet and the classes are high quality
- current status: i can play tallahassee by the mountain goats kind of poorly. which is a start!
- started to study japanese again
- i'm keeping up with my duolingo streak more because i enjoy the app's UI and Duo as a mascot more than anything else. and i like the concept of gamefied language learning, even though i don't think duolingo's execution is perfect
- i've also come back to the very well known book Genki: An Integrated Course In Elementary Japanese and i'm really enjoying this website that has Anki decks separated by the lessons in the book. and it also has the book exercises in different digital formats so it's more practical
- started to study toki pona again
- i've already learned all the grammar in the past (even though i make many mistakes), but i never got around to fully memorizing all of the words. i'm using an anki deck for this too
- i'm also trying to get more input in, so i can read and write faster, but it's very hard as there's not that much media in toki pona. i created an account in a mastodon instance dedicated to toki pona and post there sometimes
- started to actually study drawing "Seriously" again
- i already started that well known course by Proko in the past but never finished it. i don't know if i reccomend it exactly but i don't have anything else to reccomend either, i just went back to this since i knew it and started it already
- finally switched windows to my new ssd
- and found out that my cpu is too old to run windows 11
- which means that in a near future i'll need to give up a large sum of money all at once to get a new motherboard, cpu and videocard. almost a whole computer. again, i need a job
input
books / texts
- read the article "Gay Liberation Failed: The origins of the trans panic", that i'm linking here even though it's a short article because i enjoyed it so much
- i've also added many of the books cited in my reading list (and some things from the article author too)
- read "pequena coreografia do adeus", by aline bei
- got reccomended it by a friend after i asked for portuguese-language book recs. it's a great book, the prose is insanely beautiful, but i enjoyed the first half way more than the second half
- read "tudo é rio", by carla madeira
- started reading after seeing a friend's review on skoob (brazilian goodreads), and i had no idea the book was so popular and hyped. the prose is very good, but i hate it when authors clearly have a very limited view of gender start to speak about men and women and heterosexual relationships
- read "good sex illustrated", by tony duvert
- i realised i don't have enough prior academic knowledge to read a dense book such as co-ire (which i tried to start reading because of the "Gay Liberation Failed" article previously mentioned) so i went to the book i've heard being commented as Youth Liberation 101. i really liked it! but take it with a grain of salt. i agree with most things he says but i question his objectives...
- started to read "american gods", by neil gaiman
- i really wanted to love this book but the way all women characters are writing gives me the ick. you don't need to talk about every woman's nipples, i know they have them, you don't need to mention it. besides that, the worldbuilding is super interesting to me, and the chapter nestled between chapter 7 and 8 would be one of my favourite short stories if read separated from the rest of the book!
- started to read "mistborn: the final empire", by brandon sanderson
- i've already read the stormlight archive in it's entirety, so reading older stuff by branderson is... difficult. but i have an open mind!
- started to read "introduction to the hebrew bible and deutero canonical books" by john j. collins
- reccomended by eesirachs, one of my favorite people on the internet. i discovered recently that i like to have at least a fiction and a non-fiction book in my reading pile.
- watched cidade de deus (2002)
- surprising how when you go watch a movie that everyone says it's good the movie more often than not is actually good
- watched the devils (1971)
- watched with friends! i love sexy priest movies
- watched the following movies during a movie spree with some friends:
- saltburn (2023)
- already watched last year. very good!
- the lighthouse (2019)
- i really want to write something longer on my thoughts about this movie. i really loved it! it had that effect on me of when you read a really good book or watch a really good movie and keep thinking about it for hours afterwards, dreaming about it, remembering the scenes and rethinking its meanings etc
- pan's labyrinth (2006)
- i thought it'd be like narnia or alice in wonderland. it's nothing like that oh my god. but it's very good! and very sad.
- the killing of a sacred deer (2017)
- i spent the whole movie wondering why the actors were acting so oddly. why did none of them express any emotion? i enjoyed the film but some things like that really bothered me
- all of us strangers (2023)
- cute! at first i hated the ending but after talking with my friends and reinterpreting it a little bit differently (and seeing what other people thought online) i ended up enjoying it more
- nope (2022)
- really good! it has that blockbuster movie vibe (don't know if it's just because of the themes or idk) and i think my brain was already really smoothed out from watching so many movies in a row, so when we got to this one i did not experience any critical thought at any moment in the movie at all.
- watched percy jackson and the olympians
- i've never read the books, but i want to. the show is fun! really teen, but fun. i didn't really turn on my critical thinking while watching it, go ask for opinions from people who actually care about the books
- watching breaking bad
- i really love saul goodman
- watching dungeon meshi
- realized that there's a space reserved in my heart for light, silly, fun anime and now i'm scared that'll lead me to watching one piece
- watching one piece
- i knew this would happen. i'm at episode 40-something. i'm not in a hurry to catch up to the current episodes. when i'm in the mood for it i watch a bit!
- started playing jogar resident evil 2
- by the influence of a friend. i struggled a lot to learn the controls. thankfully emulators have save states. don't know if i'll actually finish it someday
- started playing baldur's gate 3 again
- i'm very glad they optimized the third act enough for me to be able to play it without my computer begging for mercy! i thought i'd finish it super quick since i'm very close to the ending, but it seems there's more to go than i thought.
- played a lot of ffxiv
- my sub ran out halfway through the mont and i decided to wait to pay again so i can maybe finish some other games i haven't gotten around to finishing yet (tears of the kingdom cough cough...)
- started playing yakuza kiwami again
- i started it a long time ago but didn't have a gamepad and playing with keyboard and mouse sucks. i'm enjoying it a lot!
- illinois - sufjan stevens
- favorite song: come on! feel the illinoise! (part i: the world’s columbian exposition – part ii: carl sandburg visits me in a dream)
- EVEN IN HIS HEART THE DEVIL / HAS TO KNOW THE WATER LEVEL / ARE YOU WRITING FROM THE HEART? / ARE YOU WRITING FROM THE HEART?
- without you i'm nothing - placebo
- favorite songs: every you, every me; without you i'm nothing; pure morning
- ALL ALONE IN SPACE AND TIME / THERE'S NOTHING HERE BUT WHAT'S HERE'S MINE / SOMETHING BORROWED, SOMETHING BLUE / EVERY ME AND EVERY YOU
- dark in here - the mountain goats
- favorite songs: parisian enclave, dark in here
- STEAL AWAY AT SUNDOWN / PICK A PLACE TO HIDE / CHECK FOR SIGNS OF AMBUSH / HUNKER DOWN INSIDE / TIRED OF RUNNING / TIRED OF NEVER STANDING STILL / HEAR THEM RIDING UP THE HILL
- transgender dysphoria blues - against me!
- favorite song: true trans soul rebel
- ANOTHER NIGHT THAT YOU WISH YOU COULD FORGET / MAKING YOURSELF UP AS YOU GO ALONG / WHO'S GONNA TAKE YOU HOME TONIGHT? WHO'S GONNA TAKE YOU HOME? / DOES GOD BLESS YOUR TRANSSEXUAL HEART, TRUE TRANS SOUL REBEL?
- rasura - ruído/mm
- favorite song: cromaqui
- the video how to give yourself a name
- about choosing your own name, and having various names. it's short, and beautiful.
- the series therapist plays disco elysium
- i love disco elysium and i love re-experiencing games i love through the eyes of others. most disco elysium gameplays are very bad. this one's good!
- the podcast the yard
- another podcast with some Bros talking about things. but i like them! i especially like the episodes with guests
- the video how to tell your son about hannibal lecter
- a short video essay about the movie Manhunter (which i've never watched)
- the series getting every achievement in ffxiv
- the name already says. he's trying, slowly, to get all of the ffxiv achievements. i'd love to try that too someday, but i value my time
- the video the trans doctor who episode
- i love this channel's videos. they are mainly about trans themed tv show episodes.
- the video petscop: the darkest game you cannot play
- i love petscop. i learned about it a long time ago when the first videos were just coming out and no one had any clue what sort of story the videos were leading to, and then i just forgot about it and never saw were it went. i like nexpo's videos quite a bit. a good video to watch in bed in the dark and not be able to sleep afterwards.
movies
tv shows
games
music
videos
output
just homework for the animation course i'm doing, sketches and silly stuff. it's been a long time since i don't actually finish an Illustration(tm). maybe in february...?
